By His mercy I am not consumed

Sigh.

How do I even begin to describe what that verse means to me and why I see it so vividly in that picture? That picture of my sweet little Tiggy a week or two after his first (and only) birthday.

I remember that morning so clearly. It so perfectly expressed everything I believe about education, parenting and discipleship. That morning was why we chose to move out here. Mattias loved outside. He loved ‘chickie chickies.’ He loved walking alongside and trying to help with whatever task was at hand. His whole world was new every morning and he frequently reminded me to seek beauty and contentment in the every day.

Now he’s gone. There are times the grief threatens to consume me. Times when I feel I could suffocate under its weight. Times when the darkness closes in and it seems there is no light left in all the world.

But each day dawns anew.

And by His mercy, I am not consumed. By His mercy, I can guide my children through this valley. By His mercy, I know that though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death there are greener pastures ahead.


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Sara
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Not sure where I heard it (The Duggar’s show maybe?) but I remember someone saying that we need to praise God during the bad times (as well as the good) because He is always with us.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18

Annemarie
Guest

I am praying for you, Dana. I don’t “know” you, but you (and your family) have become a part of my prayer life, which I have found binds me to my sisters in Christ in a very strong way. Today I am praying that you will have a day that is not filled with suffocating grief, but a sure hope and a deep knowledge that this life is so short and it won’t be long until you see Mattias again.

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liz
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such a beautiful post. I will pray that that each day gets easier. I am sorry for your loss. But praise God that your little one is smiling down from heaven and you will see himm again.

Q
Guest

Inhale, exhale, inhale deeper. Over the next several months you will notice a scent in the air. You will be startled because it won’t be neutral. Your brain will kick in, and you will be able to identify the faint scent of new grass from the pasture that lies ahead. Just keep breathing . . .

Rosie@leavesnbloom
Guest

Oh no Dana

I didn’t know about Mattias until I read this. I have not been so good at catching up with all the blogs I follow recently. I am so sorry for the loss of that beautiful little boy of yours and I’ll keep you and the rest of the family in prayer.

I’m not sure if you have ever been over at Marsha’s Other such Happenings as she too lost a little one a while back and she regularly submits to Scripture and a Snapshot.

http://www.othersuchhappenings.com/search/label/journey%20through%20grief

momofm&Ms
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“In ALL things give thanks…” good thing I am commanded that, becaues if left to my own devices it may never happen.

Your photo is beautiful..what a perfect capture. Thankyou for the reminded that Great is thy faithfulness!

Joannah
Guest

Amen! I am grieving the loss of my husband ten months ago. I’m clinging to the Word and all His precious promises.

I’m so sorry about your sweet Tiggy. He’s in the arms of Jesus, but your arms are empty. 🙁

Have you read Choosing to See, by Mary Beth Chapman? I just read it a couple of months ago, and it really helped in my grief journey.

Sharra
Guest

Dana, thank you for sharing your beautiful faith. May the Lord hold your family very close and bring you strength each day. Blessings and prayers in the Lord, Sharra

Mommaof10
Guest

Beautifully spoken Truth from the depths of your soul. Hold Fast to that Truth as it will see you through the difficult hours ahead. May you feel and cling to the loving arms of The Savior holding you and carrying you through this valley.

Our prayers are with you.

Katie L.
Guest

Dana, I wish I knew what words to say that would lessen your pain, but I’m not sure those words exist. Having a 4 year old and 2 year old of my own makes this hit very close to my heart.

I am incredibly inspired by your faith and your knowing that God is with you through ALL things, especially the dark and difficult times. And I will be praying that the Lord gives your family the comfort, peace and blessings most needed as you walk through this valley.

Christine
Guest

Dana, I’m stopping by your blog today through Scripture & A Snapshot. My heart aches with you; I don’t have words. What a powerful Scripture to cling to. And your photo is a beautiful keepsake and treasure.

Love in Him,
Christine

sarah
Guest

And I believe that you will not be consumed, but that you will recapture what you had. It will always be different, but beautiful in a new way. I believe God will be faithful and restore your joy.

You and your family are often in my thoughts and prayers.

LyndsD
Guest

Wow… Thank you so much for sharing your faith and strength with us. God is with you. First time visitor here but I will most certainly will be back and will be keeping you very very close in prayer. I agree what a beautiful lil boy you have there and such a beautiful reminder of Scripture as well. Such a treasure.

Mary
Guest

Wow, awesome post. Always in our prayers….

MarshaMarshaMarsha
Guest

What a beautiful picture of your beautiful boy! When I look at him, I just want to scoop him up, twirl around and smooch those cheeks!

I am thankful for new mercies. Each sunrise and sunset is one day closer to when we will be with our boys again… and God gives us grace to the day if we will see it.

Clydia
Guest

What a beautiful picture of your sweet Tiggy!

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[…] fighting this thing that threatens to consume me. I’m fighting the fog and the numbness and the hurt so that I can begin each day anew. […]